Father's Requiem
by Eternal Love Song
Summary: Loki and Thor are standing on the cliff. Hela walks through the portal. Not for a fight, but for a remembrance.


The cliffside felt very empty as Loki watched the golden sparkles disappear into the sky. Thor was gripping his hammer tightly. Loki was just trying to get a grip on himself. The moment felt entirely surreal.

"Thor." The name came quickly to Loki's lips, but not the words after. He wanted desperately to say something, whether to comfort his brother or receive comfort himself, he wasn't sure. When it was Frigga, he'd known what to do. He had been angry. He'd had a target. It had been easy to unleash that anger, especially when there was so much he could angry about.

Odin was different. Loki didn't know how to feel about this. He didn't know what to do about this. There was no one to blame, no one to fight, and no reason to do anything when he couldn't even recognize his own feelings.

"This is your doing," Thor said. His voice was both quiet and fierce. Loki didn't know what to do with this. Thor had always belonged to Odin, the way Loki had always belonged to Frigga. This hurt Thor and when Thor was hurt, he tended to lash out.

Loki wanted to brace himself for the pain that would surely come. He wanted to defend himself against the harsh accusation. He wanted to cry. He had no chance to do any of the three.

"I always longed for this day."

Loki startled, and Thor turned around quickly, tension running obviously through his body. A dark-haired woman was stepping through a portal, looking dour and cold, stopping a few steps away from them.

"The death of Odin. The one thing that I knew would set me free from my prison."

Thor was ready for a fight. He was holding his hammer so tightly, practically vibrating as he waited for any reason to strike. Loki was not ready. For anything.

"Now that it's here, I'm not sure what to do." She looked between them both. "Hela, goddess of death, firstborn of Odin. Yourselves?"

"Loki, of Asgard." He said, hesitating on whether or not to add "Son of Odin" to his introduction, but Thor spoke in the short pause before Loki could decide.

"Thor, god of thunder, son of Odin." He still looked ready for a fight. Perhaps with good reason. Odin warned them about this, after all. About this lie, this secret, that has come to insert itself into their lives.

Loki did not want to fight. He wanted to scream, to cry, to tear Asgard apart brick by brick until it revealed all the forgotten secrets that remained within. He wanted many things in this moment, but not to fight. Not with Thor and not with Hela.

"I always expected I'd get to see his face." Hela said as she continued walking toward them. "I thought each and every day how I would bring all of Asgard to its knees, make him kneel before me, force him to watch as I did what he never could!" She walked between them, passed them, to the very edge of the cliff. As she passed, Loki noticed a particular brightness to her eyes, shining in the light. She stopped at the edge, dropped to her knees, but remained staring straight ahead where the golden light had been.

"A fool," she said, voice breaking. Loki wasn't certain if it was directed at herself or Odin, but he felt a deep resonance with the words. It was not long ago that Loki had felt the same way, acted the same way, and he well understood the hollow ache when that desire dropped out from under you. It stung. It was bitter and confusing, hard to swallow and impossible to dislodge.

"Damn you, father!" Loki curse under his breath. Without looking at Thor, without pausing to think about his actions, he stepped forward and placed a hand on Hela's shoulder. Her hand came up to grip his own tightly and in that moment, they were united in their grief.

Behind them Thor let out a mighty bellow and Loki heard Mjolnir dropping to the ground.

"Is that it?" Thor yelled. "You show up here just to stare off a cliff?"

Thor was clearly itching for a fight, but it didn't seem like he was going to get one. Not now, at least, not with them.

"What would you have me do... brother?" Hela's voice was at once quiet and disapproving. "My father is dead."

"He was my father!" Thor roared.

Loki did not move from Hela's side, but he did turn to look at Thor. His brother had tears in his eyes and rage on his face. Not minutes ago Loki had been resigned to being on the receiving end of these emotions, now he felt too tired to even address them. At Thor's outbourst, Hela turned to glare at him with similar eyes.

"He is not yours alone!" She told him angrily. "He was my father first. I knew a side of him that you never could. I knew him when he was truly glorious, when he was at the height of his power and strength. I loved him when he had more blood on his hands than soldiers in his army. You can never know how much it hurts to love him. To watch him be too weak to love you back once he's molded you in his own image. You'll never know how much he... hurt me... by dying before I could..." Hela cut herself off, turning away to bite her lip as tears fell down her cheeks.

Loki's hand tightened on Hela's shoulder and she gripped him back. There was something tightly gripping his heart and he felt almost as if he was holding his breath.

"Little brother?" The question belonged to Hela. Hearing the concern in it almost made it unrecognizable, though. In the short time that Loki had her speak, he already knew that confidence and anger were her tools of choice. Not... whatever this was.

"Brother, what's wrong?" Thor's voice was right beside him as he leaned down and pressed a hand to Loki's back.

It was only then that Loki realized he was on his knees. His hand was still on Hela's shoulder, but his other hand was clutching at his heart. He wasn't breathing and he was on the verge of tears.

"Talk to me, brother!" Thor said imploringly.

"This is just like him," Loki gasped out, trying to keep his voice even and fighting his suddenly blurry vision by closing his eyes. "Trying to cover up and throw away his mistakes. The secrets and lies keep coming even now, and we're the ones left to clean up the mess."

Thor was huddled close to him now, one hand clutching Loki almost painfully tight. He was looking away, but Loki was sure he had something more to say.

"Going to hold your tongue now, brother?" Loki questioned " This is my fault, right? Don't you want to tell our sister how I killed our father? How I'm the reason that he..." Loki felt himself break off the sentence, feeling tears in his eyes and hating himself for it. "I can't win."

"There is no winning against father," Thor said softly.

"There never was," Hela added.

Thor pulled him into a tight embrace as Hela hovered near, placing a hand on both his and Thor's shoulders.

Odin was gone. Their father was gone. None of them knew what to do now, but... they weren't alone. Not even Hela. Not anymore. Maybe this was all they could do, huddle together and try to cling to whatever comfort they could bring each other.

"I hate Odin," Loki whispered.

Hela laughed the slightest bit. "As do I."

Thor's hold on him tightened. "I think we all have at some point," he admitted. "And yet..."

"I've never loved him more," Loki finished.

"Bastard," Hela said softly. She held him tighter and Loki pressed himself closer to Thor.

Slowly, the empty feeling that had spread around him since he watched the fading gold began to dissipate.


End file.
